Chasing Daydreams

All of us have a dream or vision of what we want to achieve or who we want to be. Before the kids and marriage, before the real world forces you to face the grueling truth of what it takes to live. Making that dream a vision and turning it into reality takes work.

When you have a dream, you fantasize about the things you want to happen now. Tomorrow, you want to wake up, look in the mirror, and see a version of yourself that you love. Your parents teach you to dream, the world tells you to dream, but when you hit the real world, you get stuck in monotony and mediocrity. You feel guilty you’re not working toward your goal, you feel lazy you’re stuck in one place, so you put your dream off till a better time and the cycle continues without you changing a thing.

“Man, alone, has the power to transform his thoughts into physical reality; man, alone, can dream and make his dreams come true.”

Napoleon Hill

“Lose your dreams and you might lose your mind.”

Mick Jagger

After a while, the pressure from your family, friends and society wears you down and you tell yourself, that it’s okay to give up on your dream. That you’re happy with where you’re at, that sometimes you have to know when to give up. Why do we give up on ourselves? Whether your dreams are big or small, their worth pursuing. In striving for your dreams, here are a few reminders:

  • Stop comparing yourself to others. It’s difficult, we all do it. When you see a person of similar age and opportunity whose reached the success you’ve always wished for, you either wonder how they were able to achieve so much while you weren’t, or believe they don’t deserve it. Instead, change the way you view them, use them as inspiration or healthy competition.
  • Make a decision and stick with it. My dream is to be a published author. Throughout my college career and current adult life, I’ve had people suggest a repertoire of things I could do. I admit I get suck into these deviations and wonder who I would be if I followed a different path. Despite the fact that your loved ones may not approve or even share the same enthusiasm you have for your dream, don’t let that sway you.
  • Keep at it, positively. Working toward the vision you see for your future is a treacherous road riddled with obstacles to stop you. At times, it’ll feel like the entire world is conspiring against you. Finding the motivation and time for your goals between the mundane tasks of daily life can feel impossible. Look yourself in the mirror and tell the doubt that you will be who you want to be.

I haven’t achieved yet the vision I have for myself, and still there are times I wonder, what’s the point? The point is that this is for me. This is who I want to be. I don’t want to be old an regret not going after something because I didn’t want to play the game of life. If you keep doing what you want to do, you’ll eventually find success. Like Eli Young Band sings, “Keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart.”

Success: A State of Mind

Going after one’s dream is a difficult journey, taken by the brave. Filled with obstacles and naysayers, doubt will always surround your vision. It takes mental strength to persevere and stick with your passion. Fortunately, we are in the right place and time to make our goals happen.

“Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.”

American psychologist Joyce Brothers 1927-2013.

When we were children and asked what we wanted to do when we grew up, we all had an answer. Even if it isn’t something that interests you now, you had a dream and a passion. As we grow and transition into adulthood, our dreams slowly get placed on the back burner while we take care of everyday priorities.

Most of us still try to be who we want to be, achieving what we’ve always imagined we could. It just gets harder to do so. Over the years and layers of responsibility, our perception of dreams changes from being the future to unrealistic.

Use the Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction is the theory that your thoughts and desires will eventually turn to reality. If you think positive thoughts about your goals, you will in turn be guided to find the ways to achieve them. If you think negatively about your aspiration, they won’t come to life the way you want them to.

“A large part of the Law of Attraction is learning how to be an open, happy person who vibrates on a high frequency and induces a positive response in others. The way in which we spread good attitudes toward other people and attract kindness, generosity and success can be partly explained with reference to mirror neurons—neurons that ‘mirror’ the behavior we observe.”

6 Science Facts That Prove That The Law Of Attraction Exists By Katherine Hurst

Throughout history, this notion has been deemed true. What goes around comes around, you get what you put our there, etc. Here are some tips to help in reframing your successful mindset.

  • Set Realistic Goals: We, as people, can get carried away with our extravagant goals. I’m going to lose 30lbs, I’m going to write a book. I’m going to make six figures. Dreaming big keeps us motivated because we love to fantasize. To make it reality, we need to outline and take reasonable steps to reach our large dreams.
  • Remain Positive: We’re all afraid of getting our hopes up only for out deepest desires to be denied by the world. Keeping a realistic perspective doesn’t mean sacrificing hope. Put what you want out there in the world, and you will received it.
  • Make Time for Yourself: Going after what you want in life can be time consuming and demand lots of attention. You have to figure out juggling this while dealing with all the other joys life has to offer. Don’t forget to take a moment for yourself, a day or weekend, we all need to take a break once in a while.
  • Find Your Support Network: Metaphysical poet, John Donne (1572-1631) said, “No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.” Whether it’s family or friends, we all have someone who loves and supports us. Cherish and thank them every so often.

What defines success: money, love, fame? Ultimately, success is what you envision your life to be. It’s about being who you want to be and go after what matters most to you. Find your success and keep working for it.

Conquering Procrastination

Guilt is the causing element for putting off things that need to be done. People avoid doing the things that will benefit them the most by distracting themselves with errands that don’t hold any meaning. For instance, someone may spend their day cleaning instead of working on the project they had promised themselves to finish. It’s as though procrastinating as an adult is easier than as a kid.

In school, students put off studying or writing a paper until the night before. Still, they finished it. As an adult, there are no deadlines for personal goals and aspirations. It’s up to the individual to make whatever dream they want, happen. Most would think that the freedom of adulthood would allow dreams to be met with full force.

Something else happens. As a grown-up, there aren’t teachers and parents breathing down one’s shoulder. Without that pressure, uncertainty  overtakes the person wishing to achieve the impossible.

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Here, a healthy person, with a sound mind, finds almost anything else to do than their own deepest desires, as if they believe that dreaming alone will make wishes come true. So instead of doing, they fear risk of failing, not even trying. Then comes in guilt, and no one wants to feel guilt. Guilt is a transferable emotion. Instead of taking responsibility for laziness, blame the spouse, kids, or parents. It’s everyone else’s fault.

Coming full circle, procrastinating one’s life goals is more dangerous as an adult than as a child. It’s difficult for some to accept that part of themselves. As the narrators of our own lives, we tend to think of our own self as a perfect protagonist, flawless and good. Yet, we are human.

Procrastination isn’t an action, it’s a feeling. One must accept their feeling in order to move past it. No matter how many times you’re told, it’s never too late. Don’t put off going after what you want. There will always be an excuse. Just go after it. Be who you want to be. Stop dreaming. Start doing.

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Starting Somewhere

Life leads us where we’re meant to be. Others will try to take you down the same path they traveled. The dilemma becomes finding out who you are while also doing what you must. How do you live between what makes you happy and earning enough to survive?

I’m a “young” adult, attempting to figure out the world. After marriage, things got a lot more complicated. I took the advice of my mother-in-law, joining her business. Our relationship had been rocky from the start, and I thought that in doing what she asked, we’d gap the bridge between us.

For the past 10 months, I did what she asked, and then some. Out of it all, I learned not to work with family. Stress had controlled me, taking over my health and even my relationship with my newlywed husband. Finally, I had enough and I left.

Anticipating for the worst, I knew the treatment that was to come. Still, as I left her office, driving down A1A, I felt freedom. In the quarter century I had been living, I tasted freedom as I had never before.

Here is where I share the knowledge I’ve gained, hoping that others can gain control of their life as I did mine. No matter what your age, it’s never too late to take control. We’re all born the same way, free.