Positive Thinking with Self Awareness

The power of the mind is both an exhilarating and terrifying thing. Some people enjoy their inner monologue, often getting lost in thought. Others prefer to keep themselves busy with tangible tasks because they don’t want to face what they’re thinking. The mind can take a person down dark paths. One negative thought can lead to another, traveling down a rapid spiral that is difficult to get out of. Finding a way to maintain optimism may seem impossible and insincere.

The average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80%  are negative and 95% are exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before.

80 % of Thoughts Are Negative…95 % are repetitive By Faith Hope & Psychology 

The Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist

An optimist is someone who is hopeful, even if the chances of success are stacked against them, some would consider these people, “dreamers.” Let’s give an example about asking for a promotion, the optimist would say, “I’ll definitely get a raise.”

A pessimist is someone who believes that the worst will happen in any situation, these people are sometimes called, “downers.” If a pessimist is going in for the same promotion, they’d say, “They’re not going to give me a raise.”

A realist is someone who recognize as situation for what it is, finding the best solution, they tend to rely on data and facts to make decisions. When a realist asks for a promotion, they’d say, “I’ll show them my performance report and that’ll convince them.”

A realist can also combine their traits with an optimist or pessimist. An optimistic realist is someone who prepares success logically, but still wishes for the best. A pessimistic realist will go into success with all the same preparations and still think the worst will happen.

While it’s necessary to look situations rationally, there is always room for positivity. The Law of Attraction is the idea that you get what you put out there . “If you focus on positive thoughts and have goals that you aim to achieve you will find a way to achieve them with massive action.” The difficult part is in believing that this could be true. When I first started hearing this notion, I thought it was dull and cheesy. It was only until years later, in my adult life, did I start to implement this practice.

Although we’ve been told this idea over again, why is it that there are so many reminders to have a positive outlook on things? Because the daily stress of our lives bring us down and we let them. As we aim to achieve more in our age, the more complex and heavy our responsibilities become. Day after day, it wears down on a person, slowly chipping away at the light inside, the one that struggles to maintain lit.

Self awareness is the key to combating negativity.

Being self aware means taking responsibility for your actions, understanding you’re not perfect, and that you’re ultimately in charge of who you are. It’s a process that needs to be practiced daily. When a person is self aware, they aren’t upset at the world around them or convinced that there is only the worst to come. A person who is self aware gains control of their life, because they don’t hold on to negativity.

Instead of mindlessly browsing social media, watching TV or playing games (which I’m guilty of too), take a moment to reflect, even if it’s just for ten minutes. Meditate, contemplate, breathe, and learn from your own actions.

[Self awareness] requires a deep understanding of your past and current self. Experiences shape how we see the world. So, we have to reflect on how the world has shaped us. 

Know Thyself: How to Develop Self-Awareness By Bill George

Putting out positive energy is just as powerful as negative energy. People who practice self awareness find ways to be more positive in their lives, because like realists, they learn from past events and apply them to situations in the future. One can still be optimistic while being realistic. In reframing your personal outlook on situations and opportunities, you might find your goals and dreams fall into place. Consider you who are, who you want to be, and what you want to achieve. It’s always the right time to start.

Working on Strength and Weakness

When we’re asked what our strengths are, we immediately consider what we’re good at, yet just because we’re good at something doesn’t mean it’s our strength. A strength is something that you do because you thoroughly enjoy it, time passes by without looking at the clock. Let’s say, you’re good at Excel and Office software. It doesn’t mean your strength is in Excel and Office, that’s simply a skill.

Strengths can take time and you may not immediately be good at them, but they are something that you love. Most resolutions and goals centralized around working on weakness. For instance, “I’m not that outgoing, I’m going to work on talking to more people.” We focus on the weakness and at some point, we can be proficient in them, but if it isn’t something we do like to do, it can be draining and we’re constantly wondering when it’ll be over.

It doesn’t matter where you are in life, it’s time to stop suffering. Many of us go through job after job, searching in what we know. Each day, it wears down, taking a piece of us with it until we become a angry at the world, perpetually unhappy and mean.

You can be mediocre at many things, or proficient in a couples things you’re passionate about. Work on your weakness, but focus on your strength. Split your time: 30% on weakness, and 70% on strength. Take the time out of your day, write out your interest, delve into your dreams, figure out if what you’re doing now is what you really want to be doing. If so, keep at it. If not, change it.

We are all born in the land of opportunity. We should take advantage of that. Sure, it’s scary to change a career or to move to a different state, but if you keep waiting until the right chance to make your own way, it’ll never come. There will always be a reason not to do something.

We all deserve to go after what we want in life, despite what others tell us we should or should not do. We’re in control of our life, and we dictate the outcome. Any path we take to achieving out goals is going to have challenges along the way, but it’s all worth fighting for. Our future is worth fighting for.

Dealing with Depression

I’m sure you’ve heard of the many self-diagnosis out there. Some may think it’s a trend or fad. Being sad is better than being happy. For me, it’s something else. The trauma in my life that triggered this downward spiral was my parents divorce at thirteen.

Preteen years are such a fragile time for humans, and as such, the last thing we want to see is our parents separate. I sought connection through internet conversation that ended up being many strangers. I still don’t know who they are today.

It doesn’t matter. I grew up. I faced my demons head on, and now I’m “better,” or so I’d like to think. The scariest part of trying to tell others how you feel is the concern that crosses their face. Immediately, something is wrong with you. You need help. But maybe, if you’re like me, you need someone to understand.

Depression comes in waves. There are some days, even weeks, where I feel on top of the world. I’m happy, motivated, and fun. Then the guilt comes in. I’m ashamed of being who I’m or where I’m at in life. I wish I put more of an effort toward the things that make me happy. Self-loathing takes hold and I fantasize about the ways to kill myself.

The most painful part is watching my partner blame himself for my emotional state. He thinks that if I’m upset, it’s either something he’s done or can fix. When it is neither, he becomes worried and scared. He is justified in his reaction. Yet, almost always, my sadness is never because of something he did or didn’t do. It has to do with me.

A little over a decade later, I’m still figuring out how to deal with my emotions. The most cliche method I use is giving myself a pep-talk. I tell myself, that I’m worthy. I deserve respect. I’m smart. I’m beautiful. I take time to enjoy my lost childhood hobbies when I’m sad, like reading, playing piano, drawing, writing…

I enjoy the good times I have with the people I care about, even if it’s just one. Holding onto the negative surrounding will only deepen depression further. It’s always easier said than done, trust me. Smile, be positive and grateful. It’s quick to get trapped in your own thoughts, but I guarantee there is someone out there who’s thinking about you.

There are still times that all I want to do is sleep and lie in bed all day. There are moments I feel like dying. If you’re like me, the most important thing (and hardest thing) is to recognize when you’re starting to spiral out of control, and change it. You can take medicine, talk to professionals, use others as a crutch. At the end of the day, you are the controller of who you are. You can do this. I’m still doing it.