Pride and People

Humans are guilty for succumbing to the innate vices born within. While most of us know the seven deadly sins that derail us from our daily venture, we often neglect that they exist, believing that we aren’t wrong. Perhaps, the most difficult part of being a creature with emotion, is admitting when you’re wrong, especially when your pride is hurt.

Having pride in who you are isn’t necessarily a bad thing, rather it turns negative depending on the founding reason behind it. It’s natural, considering all that you’ve been through to achieve what you have, to convince yourself you know what’s best. The hardest may be admitting that in certain situations of which you’ve been wronged, that you weren’t exactly right.  

Out of the seven deadly sins: Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed, and Sloth, I’ve found Pride to be the most psychology damaging. Pride takes away the faults you see in yourself. If you are unhappy and angry at the world, it’s because of everything else around. Your actions then morph around the idea that you are simply better or “different” than everyone else. Of course, you’d never say that, but it comes out in how you treat others.

A more genuine and stable self-worth is based upon validating, affirming, and valuing ourselves as we are. Self-worth is a function of living with dignity, which exists apart from any accomplishments. Achievements are ephemeral and can become a trap. If too much of our attention goes toward accomplishing bigger and better things in order to feel good, then we become addicted to external sources of gratification.

Why Pride Is Nothing to Be Proud Of by John Amodeo Ph.D., MFT

Two Types of Pride

Authentic pride. People who are confident, agreeable, hard-working, energetic, kind, empathetic, non-dogmatic, and high in genuine self-esteem would draw inspiration from others and would want to be emulated by others.

Hubristic pride. [People who are] associated with rocky relationships, low levels of conscientiousness and high levels of disagreeableness, neuroticism, narcissism, and poor mental health outcomes. [Their] subjective feelings of superiority and arrogance may facilitate dominance by motivating behaviors such as aggression, hostility, and manipulation.

Pride and Creativity by Scott Barry Kaufman

In seeing this, someone with hubristic pride would consider themselves to have authentic pride because ironically, it would be their pride that kept them from viewing themselves in a negative light. How do you know what type of pride you have then? Here are some signs:

  • Incessant need to teach others: You impose your way of learning onto others, rather than letting them find their own way. You genuinely feel as though it’s helpful, “sharing your knowledge,” but doing it consistently, particularly when others don’t ask, is a form of asserting your dominance and superiority.
  • Ignore advice: Despite all you debate about regarding a decision or situation, you don’t consider the words of others because understanding other people’s perspective is not of value to you. You talk about it only to self affirm you’re right.
  • Constantly Critical: You point out the negatives in people and their actions, yet these critiques don’t apply to you. It makes you feel better to point out the faults in others because of the shame you feel for your own.
  • Obsessed with Aesthetics: Vanity is a type of pride. When you equate your physical appearance to self-worth, you demand the attention of others. You want affirmation and attention to feel of value. You find passive aggressive ways to make others feel guilty about your condition like, “You could be fit like me,” or “I look so fat.”  
  • Avoiding efforts of communication: Holding grudges, resentment, and cutting people out of your life are all evidence that you have hubristic pride. By ignoring people, you deem them not worth your time, disregarding them as a person and labeling them as inferior.

In the divided opinions of today, people are quick to label others without understanding their perspective. There is a right and wrong, and if someone doesn’t agree with what that means to you, then they’re immediately lesser. We all deserve to be treated with respect, so we must treat others respectfully. In letting go of superiority and accepting humanity for what it is, we uncover the truth about ourselves.

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